Four Loko Hoes- Where $1.69 Can Lead To A 69.

SIDE EFFECTS OF FOUR LOKO-

• Blurred Vision (& Morals)
• Chest Pain
• Blackouts
• Memory Loss
• Bubble Guts
  
  
  
  IF SUCCESSFUL, LOKO LEADS TO:
  
  
  

&

So let's say you're faced with a dilemma: You have $3, and you want some gummy worms from the corner store, but you have to get a hoe drunk... What do you do? You buy the gummy bears and stick the chick with a loko, and use that dime you get back as change to contribute to a homeless man's FourLoko Fund.

No longer must you worry about dropping dollars to get hoes to drop your drawers (unless of course she blacks out from the 'Alcoholic Gusher', in which case, you at least have another story about the serial killer known as Four Loko.) Just lift your cushions looking for couch change and end the night with a hoe leaving blouse stains!

My favorite thing to do is buy one of each flavor Four Loko, head to a party, and leave them sitting by a group of hoes. Wait for them to acknowledge the presence of the beverage, and then they will pounce. Keep a close eye on them, and whichever girl chooses your favorite flavor, pursue her, and if you happen to be rejected by the first girl, pick your second favorite flavor and work your way down the loose lineup of Loko.

If you're really looking to find yourself surrounded by easy women, you could perhaps paint your car colored-camo, put a four loko logo on, and roam the streets handing out drinks and dick to thirsty hoes all around your neighborhood. Get yourself a Loko theme song to play to let people know you're in the neighborhood, and you'll be more popular than the ice cream man in no time. Perhaps this?



I must warn you all though, pretty soon it looks as though our Loko is going to be taken off the shelf. Which means you should take advantage of it while you still can, and perhaps stockpile a few for the future. Who knows, in post-apocalyptic America, Four Loko may be the magical hoelixir and be the most precious resource on the planet.

BONUS: Four Loko Recipe Of The Week!

"Dew The Loco"

(1)- Four Loko Watermelon
(1)- Mountain Dew 20 oz.
(1)- (Hopefully) Strong Stomach Lining