It is necessary to be alert and notice signs that some other eager beaver bangers may be overlooking in an attempt to smash as speedily as possible. Here are a few of the warning signs that may keep you from inserting due to injuries.
Bruises/Rugburn on Knees- The easiest sign to notice, especially as girls are trying harder and harder to show more skin. The only possible explanations for a girl having bruised knees are negative, and range from frequent fellatio-ing, to repeated restroom regurgitation, all the way down to just being a quite-manly tomboy. Obviously being a boyish bitch isn't as bad as a girl who has a steady schedule of sucking dick, or a girl who likes tasting her food twice, but nobody wants a hoe who can beat them in arm-wrestling. After all, just imagine what she'd do to your dick, you'd probably be dealing with a limp noodle when her forearm flexing workout was through. Basically, very little good can come from obvious marks on knees, and bandaids should never be a turn on, unless you're a really lame vampire.
Nosebleed And/Or Nasal Strips- Another very obvious injury to keep an eye out for, bloody noses are ALWAYS a deterrent. Either the girl tried to do a barcode worth of coke, sucks at fighting and took a right hook in the face, or even worse, picked her boogers so viciously that she has sliced her inner nostril! Every intelligent man knows that some girls out there are going to be golddiggers, but most didn't know that this was the definition they had in mind for some. Regardless, any nose related injury screams BAD NEWS from a mile away, even without the blood. In addition to looking plain lame, some girls out there are using Breathe-Right strips in order to open their nasal-passages in attempts to get as much out of their vanilla coke as possible. While you can't blame them for being savvy shoppers and trying to get the bang for their buck, looking drugged and dorky at the same time is never good.
Tennis Elbow- As you can tell, the woman to the left is suffering from a very severe and painful case of tennis
elbow, more commonly referred to as "Tugging Elbow" in the world of sluts, and is one of the more overlooked injuries you may come across. At first inspection, it may seem as though this girl obtained this injury from being such an avid fan of tennis, but on the contrary, the percentages say this injury is most likely to come from excessive handjobs. WARNING SIGN! #1, you have a girl who is most likely entertaining a large group of men, with relative fapping frequency. Even more frightening however, is the fact that she is placing her hands on hard-ons and actually convincing guys that it is passable as sexual activity. She has the mindset of a middle schooler and the elbow of an elderly woman, never a good mix. Avoid, unless and avid fan of dry dick high fives.
Concussions- Another very tricky injury, as your first reaction will usually be one of pity for the victim, but don't let the woozy/innocent look on their face fool you. I have come to the conclusion that nearly half of cunt's concussions are due to a very traumatic and painful experience. Dickslaps. The whiplash that follows the aforementioned cock-to-cheek collision can even lead to neck injuries in the most violent occurrences. So, by all means, feel some remorse for women who have suffered this fate, but just remember, that the next time you kiss her on her cheek and wish her a get well soon, you may have just made contact with rod residue.
Dehydration- Though not necessarily an injury, I believe that due to the extreme temperatures being reached this summer, it would be a good idea to point this one out. It isn't out of the ordinary for a hoe to have cotton mouth during the summer, however, if it is a hoe that you plan on receiving sexual favors from later on, you may be at risk for a terrible affliction know as dessert dome dick. The only known cure is
a healthy dose of water and Gatorade, as the electrolytes within the Gatorade work as the greatest wingman you'll ever need in times of desperation. In other words, just think of Gatorade as a hoes mouth lube.As you can see very clearly with Mia Hamm and the many sexual innuendos that her past Gatorade ad contained, Gatorade is the perfect item for foreplay. "It's never wanting to stop (giving you head)" followed by the mandatory act of the man asking her "Is it in you?". At the very least, with the use of Gatorade to rehydrate, you can use all of the excess sweat (as she takes a teabag to forehead) as a sort of lubricant.
These are the most frequent injuries that I have run into recently, and was just making sure that my fellow men are well-informed in this area. After all, we're all in this together, and education before penetration is the most important thing.
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