Saturday, July 17, 2010

Two Girls/One Bed, What Must Be Done To Ensure a Threesome?

We've all (well, those of us with good game and good luck) been in a situation where a threesome could happen if you play your cards right. I'll try to give a few tips to make sure it works out right (one ball for each girl and sharing the shaft)...

Sharing A Bed- Let's say that you're in bed with two girls, but it is just a little bit awkward because they both want the dick but don't want to share... This could be looked at as quite a wonderful dilemma, because most likely you'll end up with at least one of them when it is all said and done.


  1. Let's say you're just sitting in bed, sitting in an awkward silence, the tension making conversation tough. Just pipe up out of nowhere and break the silence, saying "Hey, you know what my favorite number is? 3! Such an awesome number, don't you guys agree? EVERYTHING is better in 3s!" Then check their reactions, and work from there.

  2. If you happen to have a deck of cards near you, grab them and tell the girls that you're about to do a magic trick. Deal three cards "randomly", one to you, and one to each of the girls, and tell them to flip them on the count of THREE. Then you all magically flip over threes, but you have the three of hearts! Act amazed and point out how unlikely it was to all flip the same card, perhaps it is fate even!



    If none of those plans have worked yet, either you have really shy threesome-participants, or they are terrible at picking up on hints. At this point, you need to choose one to make the other jealous, hopefully leading to the promise land.

  3. Get under the covers and pretend that you are going to sleep, and start playing footsie with both girls, but don't make it obvious. Eventually, just move your feet out of the way, and let the two girls play footsie with each other, and see where that goes (NOTE: this only works well if both girls have foot fetishes, or are stupid enough to not realize that they are now toeing a much more feminine foot..)

  4. Say that you're going to take a shower, and leave something in the room that you're going to end up needing. When you're in the bathroom ready to hop in, just yell out if somebody can bring in your (enter random item here) and see which girl volunteers to do it. Usually, the girl who is more eager for the dick will jump up quickly and retrieve your item for you. This is where you get to make a choice, are you satisfied with just one of the girls, or do you yell back out for another item, and see if the other girl can bring it for you? "hey, i left my blowjob in the room, can you bring it to me?" Usually works pretty well.

  5. Well now you're running out of time, the two hoes pussies have probably dried up because of too much foreplay (or should I say, threeplay? ha!). You're going to need to make a move quickly, and you only have one chance.

    Just grab both of their hands and just put them on your dick to coerce them into what you'd like. I mean, the worst case scenario if you do that, would be the two girls playing thumb war around your dick, and the winner gets it. That doesn't sound bad at all, does it? (Just make sure they don't patty cake between your penis, that could be painful)

  6. LAST, but not least, the ultimate way to get a threesome started. I would have mentioned it earlier, but I feel as though it is unfair. Never Have I Ever... I feel that when you combine NHIE + alcohol + hoes, it is almost automatic. A few questions in, girls are usually naked, and once you say "Never have I ever had a threesome" there is a 75% chance that everyone in the room is about to add that one to their list... So if you are about to give up, and you decide that you really need this trifecta for your erecta, start the game and bask in it's whore-y glory.


By now, if the two girls have been able to refrain from riding you, they are either too shy for it to ever happen, or just want you out of the room so they can have lesbian fun. If that is the case, you are terrible at choosing threesome partners, you may want to hand out applications next time to ensure that you don't end up with such prudes...

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