When NOT To Pull Hoes...

Most people like pulling hoes, that is a well-known fact, but that doesn't mean that you should devote all of your time and energy to pull a hoe, that would be silly. If you head to a party with the sole intention of pulling a hoe, either you have blue balls, or you are far too reliant on busting nuts. Hoes should be the icing on the cake of a party, not the cake itself (and no, just because hoes are the icing, that doesn't mean you should lick your fingers after you put your hands in the cake, that could turn out badly).

All i'm saying, is that don't build your night around pulling a hoe unless they are top notch, or it's a really lame party. There are times when pulling hoes works out perfectly, and then there are times when you should forget the hoes and do something else. Here is a list of the times when you should definitely NOT be focusing on pulling hoes.

• While Running The Beer Pong Table- It's a well known fact that hoes love athletes, it's been evident all throughout middle school, high school, college, shit, just look at all the pro athletes who have gotten in trouble because of hoes. If Ben Roethlisberger would have been running a beer pong table, there is no way that he could have been in the bathroom raping that hoe. Beer pong keeps you from being a rapist, Big Ben has proven this point twice!
  
  That being said, if you're on the pong table, and you're undefeated, or have a nice win streak going, you have no reason whatsoever to leave to pursue a hoe. They have probably already flocked to the cock to witness the display of dominance. Now all you have to do is recruit them to do your work for you; getting beers to fill up the cups, refilling the water cup, blowing on the balls for good luck, and maybe even showing their boobs to distract the other team. (Once a girl is willing to show her boobs to your enemy in order to assist you, you know you have her pulled).
  
  If you're really good, just pull her while you're ponging , and even get your pong partner in on the fun. Let's say you maybe want to run train on some hoe watching the pong, just nonchalantly announce to the hoe; "Hey hoe, look at this, same cup", and then proceed to sink the same cup as your teammate and ask her if she'd like to turn this "BP" into some "DP".
  
  
• While Watching A Sporting Event- Sometimes, you may show up to a party, and there will be a game on, and you'll sit down to watch it. As a connoisseur of both sports and hoes, I have to say that watching a good game is favorable to pulling a good hoe. The suspense, uncertainty and excitement of sports is tough to find in hoes, after all, there is no overtime or last second game-winning shots in the game of pulling hoes.
  
  Once the hoes notice that you have chosen sports over them, they will try to find a way to seduce you away from the television and into their vagina, DO NOT GIVE IN! They may start by just saying their own 'That's What She Said"s to the commentary. "They need to go deeper if they expect to score", "They just pounded that one in there while nobody was looking", "Almost the whole team got in on that one!", etc... You know the hoes are desperate when they're calling there own TWSS's, but you cannot give in. After all, I think halftime was actually invented as an intermission for insertion, so just smash at the half if you must!
  
  
• While On a Beer Run- This is the most unforgivable sin of them all; focusing on a bitch when you should be focusing on beer. No good will ever come from this happening. If a hoe tags along, she'll probably be all touchy-feely, asking for you to buy her some Mike's Hard Lemonade, when everyone knows damn well she just want some hard cock.
  
  Refrain from spitting game until after the beer has been successfully purchased, and then return to the party a hero. Because if something comes up, and you get distracted by dicking some hoe down, the corner store closes, and you miss out on beer, you have pretty much singlehandedly ruined the night, cockblocked all of your friends, and you suck. Just by buying the beer, you've been the best wingman your friends could ask for, don't let a hoe ruin that.
  
  
• While Playing Edward 40 Hands- It is just impractical. You have two 40s taped in your hands, and your racing to finish them. You won't be able to grab any titties, and you'll basically just miss out on some of the best parts of a hoe.
  
  After all, what is the point in pulling a hoe if you can't high five your friends afterwards!?
  
  
• While Smoking a Blunt- This is the mistake that I see more often than any other, dudes who let hoes jump in on their blunt in hopes of hoes letting them, in turn, jump in their cunt. Do not waste dro on a hoe. If you're going to let a hoe in on a blunt, make sure you receive equal compensation. If you're going to let her in on your hotbox, she better let you in HER hotbox! If she wants to get blown, she has to blow.
  
  

Of course, these aren't the only times that pulling hoes isn't practical, but I think these are the ones that people most commonly make mistakes with. We all love the satisfaction that comes with pulling a new hoe, but make sure that it doesn't stop you from doing the things you need to.

Bros before hoes.
Blunts before hoes.
Beer run before hoes.

Keep pullin'.