7. Older Brothers- I'm sure we would all be inclined to protect our younger sisters if we thought they were be taken advantage of by a guy. But having a hoe for a little sister is even worse, because she is doing damage to the family name. Whenever dealing with a hoe, you must find out in advance if she has an older brother, and protect yourself against the possibility of family backlash in case of complications. Just because a older brother is small, or relatively weak means nothing, in the heat of battle, little guys can always just kick you in the nuts, which would be disastrous for most of us. Make sure to be careful in dealing with hoes with brothers, don't let him know who you are, where you live, or your circle of friends. Limit conversation with the hoe to phone only, don't leave incriminating evidence in text or facebook. REMEMBER- Just because you fuck a hoe doesn't mean you have to be facebook friends with her...
6. Friendship- Some of you scoff at this notion, but I am serious. Did you know that some hoes actually think that you are friends after you have sex with them? HA! They will call you up, 'just to chat', ask if you want to get a friendly lunch, and ask you to do them favors. If this ever happens to you, just simply reply; "hoe, I already did you a favor, it was called giving you my dick!" That should solve the problem relatively quickly.
5. Being Made Fun of By Friends- This is the one that comes back to bite most guys in the ass. Whether it be because they are jealous that you got some and they didn't, or the fact that you really did just fuck the biggest hoe in the world, your friends will always make it hard for you to live down certain relations you may have. This happens quite often, and is most often in good fun, but that doesn't lessen how annoying it can be having to deal with the cafeteria chants, or embarrassing facebook wall posts. To avoid this, make sure and get a general concensus from all your friends before you get too deep (literally and figuratively) with any hoe.
4. Awkwardness at Parties- This is a tough one to avoid, due to the fact that at times, you may be stuck in a room with anywhere between 5-15 hoes that you have gotten with, and everyone is just sitting there in an awkward, penis-provoked silence. Getting drunk should help make this go away, although it may also lead to adding #16 to that list, but hey, isn't that the point?
3. The Ending Of Friendships- I'm sure we have all heard the famous phrase, spoken by a wise man; "bros before hoes". WELL, would you believe that in some social circles, dudes actually catch feelings over a hoe?! HA! I laugh at this, but I have seen it first hand, friendships ending over a hoe, just because she happened to RSVP to fellationize multiple men's meat. This is a depressing occurence, and should be avoided at all costs. There are only a few girls I would choose over my friends, and those are Jessica Alba and Jessica Biel, and then I would just videotape myself fucking them and give it to my friends as a christmas present, thus making the friendship stronger than ever.
2. Parents- Even more dangerous than older brothers are concerned parents. Let's say you're just having a nice night, relaxing, maybe receiving some birthday sex, or anniversary anal, when all of a sudden, this hoes parents walk in the room. You continue just pounding away at the hoe, and the mother and father become upset. You are unsure what's wrong, and wondering why they are throwing such an extreme cockblock. You ask them politely to leave the room, but for some reason, they become even angrier. If this has ever happened to you, don't worry, you aren't alone. All you need to do in this situation is come up with a clever line to get yourself out the door quickly. Just quickly look down at the girl, and then back to her parents and simply say...; "Why the fuck am I fucking you when you have such a hot mom?" Problem solved.
1. Burning When You Pee- : (
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